I can't keep silent anymore.

Enneagram Trends I’m Furious About!

I’m going to ruffle some feathers with this one, but here are 5 Enneagram trends that make me go absolutely feral.

Trend #1: Saying something like, “I can’t help that I’m rude. That’s just my Enneagram type!”

This one makes me want to surgically remove my ears when I hear this. Using your type to explain away bad behavior is NOT the move. Sure, the Enneagram helps you understand your personality. However, more importantly, it is a tool for growth. It helps you be aware of your healthy and unhealthy qualities so that you can find a better path forward!

Sometimes, people read a description of their Enneagram type and take that as absolute truth. “Well, I’m a Type 3 so I guess I’m destined to be a workaholic forever.” I hate when people use the Enneagram to excuse their unhealthy traits instead of using it as a tool to be a better you!

Knowing WHY you do the things that you do is the reason I fell in love with the Enneagram in the first place. It challenges your status quo and asks, “How can I break these patterns and become a healthier version of me?”

Trend #2: Saying some types are better than others.

I’m asked on a pretty regular basis what my favorite and least favorite Enneagram type is. While I understand where you’re coming from (it’s tempting!!), I believe the Enneagram types are value-neutral.

On "The Enneagram Journey" Podcast, Suzanne Stabile says,

"The trick to healthy relationships is to be healthy. It doesn't have anything to do with your number."

I love that quote because it reveals how we should all be treating each other. It's not about which number you are. It's about your level of health within that number. If everyone in the world suddenly was at their optimal level of health, it would be paradise. Ultimately, the only thing you have control over is your own personal level of health so try your best not to judge other people based on their Enneagram number.

Trend #3: Typing Other People

I've been there, done that. Trust me. I understand the pull of typing the people in your life. I secretly do it in my head all the time. 😅 

But here's why typing other people (out loud) is dangerous: it prevents people from actually experiencing the Enneagram for themselves. For example, you tell your friend, "Hey, you're a really anxious person. You must be an Enneagram Type Six." How do you think that would make them feel? Either they will rebel against that idea and then not explore the Enneagram themselves or they will take your word as fact and never actually find out what type they are.

Plus, you never know what somebody's type is because the Enneagram is all about inner motivation. Even if somebody presents as an anxious person, the reason they do the things that they do is internal. We simply cannot know the inner workings of somebody’s heart.

Trend #4: Mistyping Yourself Based on Your Actions Instead of Your Motives

A common pitfall is typing yourself based off of your outward expression. For example, surface behaviors of a Nine and a Two can look very similar. They are both helpful, put others' needs before their own, and try to be kind to others. But if you just look at the surface elements of someone’s actions, you are going to miss something.

The Enneagram is not about behavior. It is about the WHY. Why are you being super helpful? Why are you putting others' needs above your own? That distinction is the heart of the Enneagram. If you need some help determining your number, read this blog post.

Trend #5: Making Your Identity Your Number

The Enneagram is not perfect. It was created by flawed humans and it is, at the end of the day, only a tool for self-understanding. Anything can be damaging if it’s misused. What matters is how you use it and how it makes you and your loved ones feel more heard, loved, and understood.

Humans are so complex. There's no typology quiz out there that is going to explain the complexities of your soul and brain to you.

So if you take one thing from this blog post, let it be this: Your Enneagram type doesn’t define you! You are more than a type on any personality indicator. But you can use the tools available to you if you need help on your self-growth journey. ♥️