If I could go back in time to the first moment I ever heard about the Enneagram, I would do things differently. 


Unlock the Secrets of Your Personality with the Enneagram: 7 Key Insights for Self-Discovery 

If I was learning about the Enneagram for the first time ever in 2024, I would do things differently and prioritize these 7 key insights. Let's hop in a time machine to the first time I ever heard the word "Enneagram" and I'll show you the 7 steps I wish I had taken!

1. Internal Motivations > Behavior  

  • If you take away only ONE thing from this blog post, let it be this: The Enneagram doesn’t work if you focus on behavior. It is all about INTERNAL MOTIVATIONS.
  • The Enneagram is all about why you do the things you do. For example, my sister and I both went to a 4 year university. That was our shared behavior. But our motivations for going were different! I, a 3w4, wanted to find the BEST theater program so I could achieve my lifelong goal of being a professional actor. My sister, a 6w7, wanted to fulfill the obligation of getting a degree so she could get a job. What job? Didn't really matter as long as it would take care of her needs after graduation. Oh, and if she could join a sorority and have some fun along the way, all the better.

 Your motivations are more important than your behavior for understanding your Enneagram personality

2. Do not, under any circumstances, do your research on Instagram or any other social media

  • JK I know that’s a little dramatic, but if I could REDO my Enneagram journey, I would stay away from social media. The reason why? Reading about the types is more helpful than any online test or Instagram post.
  • Memes are fun, but it's best to venture into Instagram with knowledge and ability to discern for yourself whether or not that holds true.

Social media should not be your only Enneagram education | Abbey Howe 

3. There are no "good" or "bad" numbers

  • Though looking at our weaknesses and the stuff that makes us go “ick, that’s me” is totally a part of the Enneagram journey, it’s not an excuse to label people as “good” or “bad” types. There are positive and negative aspects of all personality types!
  • The best way to hold compassion and understanding for yourself and others is to approach people with the grace that they are capable of being the best version of themselves.

There are positive and negative aspects of all personality types | Abbey Howe 

4. Take what works and leave what doesn't

"The Enneagram doesn't put you in a box. It shows you the box you're already in and how to get out of it." - Ian Morgan Cron

  • At the end of the day, the Enneagram is a tool. It is not the answer to everything. It is not the end all be all of your personality. It is just a way for you to examine your patterns. If something doesn't resonate with you, leave it. All that matters is your personal growth.

The Enneagram is a tool to learn about yourself | Abbey Howe

5. You're not alone!

  • You know that thing you’ve struggled with your whole life? It’s normal and you’re not alone. There is an entire community of people who share your type, your desires, your fears, and your weaknesses.
  • So, Type Ones, a lot of other people are stuggling with an inner critic. You're not alone. Type Threes, a lot of other people have trouble finding worth in who they are (and not for what they accomplish). Type Eights, you are among many strong and confident people who have been told they're "too much." You're not alone.

You are not alone | Abbey Howe

6. Finding and learning about your Enneagram type should kinda suck

  • In my time as an Enneagram coach, I’ve noticed that people bury their heads in the sand to hide from their own personality.
  • Trust me, I get it. Taking a deep look at yourself can be unpleasant. Heck, the Enneagram isn’t supposed to be a picnic in the park. It challenges your desire to bury your head in the sand. It says:“Hey! Like it or not, this is you. Now what are you going to do about it?”

Taking a deep look at yourself can be unpleasant | Abbey Howe 

7. It's okay to be wrong

  • It's okay to think you're one type and then realize, even 20 years later, that you are another type! See this example ⬇️ in one of the comments on my latest YouTube video. "I've never felt more understood, and, more importantly, more capable of real growth than when I allowed myself time and space to reflect on my true motivations and fears."

Comments on Enneagram with Abbey YouTube video

I hope you had fun on our time travel adventure!