My husband Jon and I got engaged and married within a month. It was peak pandemic and we knew the chances of having a wedding anytime soon were slim. Getting married in my parent's backyard was the best decision we ever made! The only thing I regret was not getting engagement photos. So, after a year of marriage, we decided to take some very belated "we're married, but these are our engagement photos."

The vibe of the photoshoot was to be authentically ourselves (my Enneagram Four husband was pleased) in one of our favorite parts of Los Angeles, the Arts District.

Our photographer Steve complimented Jon’s jean jacket, which he had picked out as his "uniquely himself" outfit.

Jon said, “Thanks. It suits me.”

Before I go on, let me tell you about Jon’s jacket.

Jon’s signature look is his jean jacket. It’s one of those perfect denim jackets that take a lifetime to find. Soft from years of wear. Pins and patches from favorite bands and coffee shops. Faded color from the sun. People pay good money for stores to replicate that kind of look. But Jon’s jacket can’t be store bought. It’s unique. Just like him.


Then our photographer said something that really struck me.

He said, “I want to be confident enough about my personality to know that something suits me.”

See, Steve doesn’t know his Enneagram type. He confessed that he didn’t know himself enough to even take an Enneagram test.

You know the trope of an ostrich burying its head in the sand?


In my time as an Enneagram coach, I’ve noticed that people bury their heads in the sand to hide from their own personality. Trust me, I get it. Taking a deep look at yourself can be unpleasant. Heck, the Enneagram isn’t supposed to be a picnic in the park. Richard Rohr writes that "if you don’t sense the whole thing as somehow humiliating, you haven’t yet found your number."

Your Enneagram type is like the jean jacket in your closet. It suits you- the good and the bad. When you try it on, it makes sense. It’s familiar because it’s been a part of you since you were a child. And it isn’t always pleasant. It challenges your desire to bury your head in the sand.

It says: “Hey! Like it or not, this is you. Now what are you going to do about it?”