If you have an Enneagram Two in your life, you probably want to know how to love them better and how to honor their unique qualities.
The Top 10 Ways to Love an Enneagram Type Two
Intimately knowing all about your partner’s Enneagram type can revolutionize a relationship. If you have an Enneagram Type Two in your life and want to know how to love them better, I’ll share here the top 10 ways to make them feel wanted and appreciated.
Partners of Type Twos will tell you that sometimes they deny their own needs to focus on other people. Instead of waiting for them to tell you how they need to be loved (you will be waiting a LONG time), let’s be proactive about it!
#1 — Remind them that they are enough
Enneagram twos struggle with believing that they are enough just the way they are. So be intentional and remind them that they are worthy and appreciated right now. Let them know that you love them, but also tell them they don’t need reassurance from the outside in order to be lovable. They are enough right now!
#2 — Hugs and kisses
Most Enneagram Twos appreciate physical affection. I’m willing to bet that physical touch is a common love language for Enneagram Twos.
- Give them a back massage!
- Hold their hand during a movie.
- Give them long hugs and squeezes during social situations.
- Let them know physically that they are desired.
#3 — Take an interest in their interests
A Type Twos interests can often be overshadowed by the interests of those around them. Show them love by taking an interest in their favorite hobby!
If it’s musical theater, buy tickets to Hamilton! If it’s drinking wine, take them to a winery! (Hint hint- this is my interest. Someone take me to a winery!)
#4 — Present them with an opportunity for self-care
Enneagram Twos are constantly caring for the other people in their lives, so present them with an opportunity to do some self-care.
- A gift idea would be an at-home spa kit with bath bombs, aromatic candles, and bath salts.
- You could also give them a gift card to a local spa, but be careful about giving them a gift card as they are just as likely to gift it to someone else than to use it for themselves! You might have to go with them to make sure they enjoy it.
Enneagram 2s may need a little hand-holding in the self-care department.
#5 — Have an attitude of gratitude
Express gratitude! When an Enneagram Type Two does something for you, make sure that you express how thankful you are for them and how much you appreciate them. (A WORD OF CAUTION: let them know that your love for them is not dependent on them doing things for you.)
#6 — A big ol’ cup of Joe
A great way to support your Enneagram Type Two is to plan a coffee date with the intention of asking them how you can meet their needs. Often, you will need to specifically ask a Type Two what they need because they feel bad about directly stating their desires. They don’t want to be a burden on anyone else. Make it clear that meeting their needs is a joy for you (the same way it feels to them when they help someone!).
#7 — Learn More about the Enneagram of Personality
Learn all you can about the Enneagram! It’s only natural that you want to learn all about your own type but learning about the other types will also give you some terrific insight into yourself and will greatly improve the relationships in your life. I am an avid reader and if you are too, below is a video of the OG basic books about the Enneagram to get you started and here is a blog post of some books to help you dig deeper in your pursuit of all things Enneagram.
Are you more of a visual learner? Here’s a hot tip. Subscribe to my YouTube channel to learn more about your type and your loved one’s type.
#8 — Take a nap
When Type Twos are tired, they often feel like people are taking them for granted. This is because Twos tirelessly work for others, hoping for recognition and love, but they don’t stop to care for themselves. So if you can see that your Type Two is pooped, give them a forced break.
- Schedule a massage for them.
- Take the kids to the park for a few hours so that they can take a nap.
#9 — Time to cool off
Type Twos are in the heart triad of the Enneagram. (Learn more about triads here!) What does this mean? THEY. FEEL. DEEPLY. Because of their extreme empathy, not only do they feel their feelings, but they also feel YOUR feelings. So if tensions are high in a fight and you are both upset, I advise that you both wait until emotions have settled to talk about it. Cooling off time is a necessity!
#10 — Be thoughtful
Be thoughtful in your interactions. Remember what their favorite flower is. Make sure you mark your anniversary in 4 different places so you don’t forget. Ask them how coffee with Susie was on Tuesday. Be aware! This will make your Type Two feel seen and loved. Your thoughtfulness WILL be appreciated.
