Intimately knowing your partner's Enneagram type can revolutionize a relationship. If you have an Enneagram One in your life and you want to know how to love them better, I'm going to tell you 10 of the best ways to love them better and honor their unique qualities.
I am friends with an awesome married couple who are both Enneagram Ones. Let me tell you: they get things DONE. They are pillars in the community, passionate parents, and excel at whatever they put their minds to (whether that be leading a church camping trip or remodeling their kitchen).
At their best, Enneagram Type 1s are committed to a life of service and integrity. They are balanced, responsible, and able to forgive themselves and others for being imperfect. Their ultimate goal is to make the world a better place, and they do so with principled patience.
But sometimes, Type Ones get out-of-alignment. They become frustrated with others and harsh with themselves. Their fear of being wrong leads them to obsessively micromanaging everything. In an effort to have control over their circumstances, they can become an out-of-control perfectionist.
So I’m going to share with you ten ways that you can love your Enneagram One better when they are feeling low. Instead of ending up in a shouting match, practice these tips to improve their day. (and yours!)
Enneagram ones are incredibly detail-conscious.
If you live together, stay organized and keep your shared space decluttered and clean. A helpful book to learn how to be more organized is Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
Type Ones desire to have a beautiful environment to promote peace in their inner and outer lives. So put away your laundry as soon as it's done and stop hanging on to items that don’t bring you joy!
Type Ones want to make the world a better place. The impacts of global warming are already damaging people and the environment. Climate scientists have concluded that we need to limit global warming to 1.5 degrees Celsius by 2040 if we want to avoid the most devastating effects of this crisis. So, do your part!
Another way to care for an Enneagram One is to support a cause that they are passionate about. (It’s very likely they have at least a few favorite charities and causes.)
As a perfectionist, Type Ones have an incessant inner voice telling them how to improve things. When it comes to criticism, I guarantee they have already told themselves that critique 100 times today.
So try not to tell them that something is “good enough.” Instead, ask how you can help them make it better.
Make sure to take on your share of responsibilities so your Type One doesn’t end up doing all the work. Enneagram Ones like schedules and accountability. They like knowing who is responsible for what. (Also, expect a discussion around the ethics of the division of labor in modern households!)
Compliment them! Words of affirmation go a long way for someone who is battling an inner critic every day. Affirm their positive traits and their contributions to their family and friends.
Try to be as fair and considerate as they are. Cultivate your character and set improvement goals. Get a goals journal! You and your partner can connect on your goals and grow your relationship.
Encourage your Enneagram One to have some fun! Listen to their worries and concerns in order to help them lighten up. Plan a fun activity to do together that will banish worry! Something like a fun new exercise class or a trip to an amusement park!
I hope these tips were helpful for your journey in understanding how to care for Enneagram Ones. Now get out there and love them! They deserve it.